Prankster on the Loose
by ffure21
Summary: A child who likes to pull pranks and drives everyone nuts is on the loose and it's Renji and Rukia's priority to take care of it before Byakuya finds out.


**.org/wiki/Rukia_Kuchiki#Background**

**Prankster on the loose**

"…hey! Give it back already!"

"Catch me if you can, mangy 'hole!"

"*a vein twitched on his forehead* what did you say, kono yaro?!"

" I SAID CATCH ME IF YOU CAN, MANGY ASSHOLE!!!"

"That's it! You're gonna be dead once I catch you! That's what the mangy 'hole says!!"

"If that is if you can catch me! The mangy 'hole speaks too soon!"

"I wish Kuchiki-taichou could pardon me for what I'm gonna do."

"What exactly are ya gonna do?!"

"Watch…Bankai!"

Dust filled the entire place.

"Hihou Zabimaru"

Once the dust disappeared, the girl was out of sight.

"Where did you go, gaki?!"

"Nani yo shiteru?"

"Nngh! T-taichou!"

"She reported to me that you were creating a commotion...and releasing your zanpakutou. You know that causing a ruckus and releasing your zanpakutou in my squad without my permission will get you in trouble."

"B-but t-taichou-"

"I will give you your punishment as of now."

* * * * * *

"Oi! Gaki!"

"I told you I'm no kid, Kenpachi!"

"Sa-chan, ohayoooo!"

"Ohayo, Yachiru-chan!"

"OHAYOOOOO, PACHINKO HEAD!"

The 2 girls cheered.

"* vein twitch on his bald* here they are again! What do you want, gaki?"

"*vein twitch then pout* I said I'm no KID! And I was just passing by."

"Whewww…"

"Ah, Renji also said to give this box to you."

"It's some trick is it?"

"I wouldn't think that!"

"Let's see if it's his writing…it IS his writing. You did something to him, didn't you?"

"Ick! The hell I would want something from that mangy 'hole, pachinko head."

"K, k…I'm gonna open it."

"Suit yourself"

"AAAAAHHHHH!!! H-hebi! HEBI!!!!"

"I didn't know that you have the scare for snakes…especially King Cobras! *laughs*"

"Shaddap, fukutaichou! Where are you, GAKI?!!!"

* * * * * * *

"Rangiku-san!"

"Ohayo, beast-chan!"

"Ehh! I said to call me by my name. Have you forgotten?"

"Ah…gomen, gomen, Shiro-chan!"

"*whispers*Have you finished _it_?"

"*whispers* you mean _that_? Successfully!"

"What are you two talking about?"

"T-taichou!"

"T-toushiro!"

"You surprised us!"

"*vein twitch* you're like him aren't you? HOW MANY TIMES I HAVE TO TELL YOU PEOPLE TO CALL ME HITSUGAYA-TAICHOUUUU?!!!!"

"Ahh…now you've scared her. She ran away!"

"What were you even talking about?"

She triumphantly pulled out a bottle from underneath Hitsugaya's desk.

"W-w-what the—?"

Hitsugaya was outraged.

"Rangiku! How many times do I have to tell you not to defile this place with alcoholic drinks!"

"Relax, Captain; it's just one bottle."

"Oh really?"

Hitsugaya said sarcastically, reaching underneath his desk and pulling out another, and then another, and then another, until the desktop was practically invisible underneath those goddamn bottles. He wrinkled his nose at the offending odor of the liquor and cast Rangiku a glare that demanded an explanation.

"I meant it was only one bottle that I was going to drink today."

"I guess the plan failed."

Rangiku said in her mind.

"Very funny, Rangiku. Now throw all these bottles away before someone thinks they belong to me."

Just then, Hisagi, Kira and Renji opened the door of the office and entered unabashedly.

"HITSUGAYA-TAICHOU! DID SHIRO GO HE-"

They were cut off when they saw the bottle of sake and Toushiro besides it with one bottle on his hand, uncorked.

"Whoa! Calm down…didn't know that you drink sake in this hour."

"Back off, Abarai! I won't give you an explanation! You do it Matsumoto."

"You see…taichou just wanted a sip to try if it's good for his health. You know kids these days-"

"MATSUMOTOOO!"

* * * * * * *

"That's enough trouble for one day *stretches* I think I'll call it a day."

"Before you call it a day, I'll give your punishment as well."

"Byakkun!"

"I would like to prefer you call me Captain Kuchiki. Now, come."

After following, Byakuya lead Shiro to his office.

"Renji!"

"Huh? WHAT THE HELL YOU'RE DOING HERE?!!!"

"That's my line! Byakkun led me so I just followed. What about you?"

"What the heck do you even see? I'm doing taichou's paper works!"

"Oh I see! This must have been your punishment *leered* "

"*vein twitch; waved a fist; charges to Shiro* thanks to you I have to do this! I really wanted to kill you and I ain't makin' this chance escape since YOU'RE ALREADY HERE!!!"

As Renji tried to punch her, Shiro just simply jumped and landed on Renji's head.

"Shut up! *ready to kick* FUCKING BASTARD!!!*kicks his face*"

"Scatter, Senbonzakura"

"Ack!"

After a few minutes…

"Thanks to you, I'm all screwed up and taichou's mad at me!"

"Baka! I'm in bandages as well. You shouldn't thank me. Thank Byakkun instead. He chopped your spiky hair and I'm grateful about it. No more flakes and you looked like a girl*laughs*"

"K-kono…*vein twitch in his forehead and fist* Shut up already and do your work!"

"I AM doing it! Besides, this is supposed to be Byakkun's work-*muff*-"

"Lower your voice, aho. Once taichou hears that were gonna be in hell as much as a hello!*bites Renji's hand* YOWWW!!!"

"We ARE already in hell!"

"Teme! How old are you anyway?"

"Baaaka! You already forgot? I just moved here 3 days ago. I'm just 5-yrs.-old!"

"No wonder Rukia's the one taking care of you outside 6th Squad and I'M the one inside the 6th Squad."

"It suits you. Besides, you're funny when you get angry*giggled*!"

* * * * * *

"Oi! Gaki! Wake the hell up already! *pours a pail of water on Shiro's face*"

"Samui!"

"Better? Do you want another round of cold one or the hot-"

"What in the fuckin' hell ya doin'?!"

"Wakin' you with water, idiot."

"What are you even doing here*scrubs her eyes*?"

"I'm here to get your zanpakuto. Taicho wants me confiscate your."

"*eyes widened* NANI?!"

"Part of the punishment 'cause of what you did."

"My fault?! You're the one who released your zanpakuto."

"And you were the one who started it all."

_Flashback_

"_Oi, Gaki! Are ya ready*knocks at the door really loud*?!_

"_Shut up! I can here you loud and clear! But not too loud!"_

"_Hurry up and we'll start the training already! Taichou will get mad at us if you don't get your butt out of there!"_

"_*door slid open*URUSAIII*throws her pillow!!!"_

"_Teme! What's with you?!*removes the pillow and threw it back*"_

"_*catches the pillow*first of all, stop calling me 'gaki'! Second, you're not the boss of me! Final, shut that goddamn mouth of yours*followed by slamming the door*!!!"_

"_*kicks the door* You're SO gonna get in trouble-huh-*face turns red*"_

_Shiro was naked._

"_I-I-"_

"_I know, I know. You want something*turns around revealing her naked body*"_

"_N-NO! T-tonikaku g-get d-dressed a-a-alre-ready. I-I'll w-wait for y-you o-out-s-side. *turns and walks away*"_

"_Hoho! I know you want it and you're thinking about it. You want me that badly, huh*sneered?*"_

"_*turns*SHADDAP!"_

"_See*opened her towel that covers her body*?"_

"_*Nose Bleed* Uwaaaahhhhh!"_

_End of Flashback_

"…*face not looking to Shiro; talking while blushing*even though you're just a 5-yr.-old kid, you're very much ill-minded."

"Shut up. Besides you thought about it until now."

"*turns to her* IT WAS JUST YESTERDAY!!!"

"See?"

Shiro lowered her top clothes, revealing a bit of her _onigaku._

"_UWAAAAHHHH!!!!"_

Door slid open.

"Doshite, Renji?"

"*turns around*ah, Rukia-nee-sama!*hugs her*"

"Sh-Shiro?"

"*fake cry*Rukia-nee-sama! Yokata!"

"What did you do to her, Renji?"

"Me? It was her! She took off her clothes right in front of me and NOW it's my fault?"

"W-wow! First you're a pervert and now…you're a gay…"

"*clenching his fist tightly*SHUT…THE…HELL…UP!!!!!"

"Now he's angry about today."

_Flashback_

"_Oi, Chibi! Concentrate would ya?!"_

"_I am concentrating! The reason why I can't is because of your botchily mouth!"_

"_Do you want to continue or return to your previous seat and shut you up?"_

"_I don't care being a 13__th__ seat again. And I ain't taking any orders from you! Besides, you better work on your consequences."_

"_Do you want Kuchiki-taicho to teach you? Or Yamamoto-Sotaicho?"_

"_Neither!"_

"_Then continue your training!"_

_A few seconds…_

"_This is lame*puts her hand under her chin*"_

"_Nani?! I'm here helping you in your swordsmanship and you're very picky. It's either taicho or me!"_

"_Neither!_

"_Kono…*his spiky hair fell*…what the fuck…?!"_

"_You look all girly now*laughs*!"_

"_Oi, bastard! __Give it back to me, hey! Give it back already!" _

"_Catch me if you can, mangy 'hole!"_

"_*a vein twitched on his forehead* what did you say, kono yaro?!"_

" _I SAID CATCH ME IF YOU CAN, MANGY ASSHOLE!!!"_

"_That's it! You're gonna be dead once I catch you! That's what the mangy 'hole says!!"_

"_If that is if you can catch me! The mangy 'hole speaks too soon!"_

"_I wish Kuchiki-taichou could pardon me for what I'm gonna do."_

"_What exactly are ya gonna do?!"_

"_Watch…Bankai!"_

_The dust filled the entire place. _

"_Hihou Zabimaru"_

_Once the dust disappeared, the girl was out of sight._

"_Where did you go, gaki?!"_

"_Nani yo shiteru?"_

"_Nngh! T-taichou!"_

"_She reported to me that you were creating a commotion...and releasing your zanpakutou. You know that causing a ruckus and releasing your zanpakutou in my squad without my permission will get you in trouble."_

"_B-but t-taichou-"_

"_I will give you your punishment as of now."_

"_Taichou! I-I can explain-"_

"_There is no need. Since both of you create havoc, I'll give you two choices: you will do my paper works or clean the entire squad."_

"_*zanpakuto returns to normal; bows down* I'll do your paper works!"_

"_I'll be going now*turn his back on Renji*once I return, you must finish it all or halfway*disappeared*."_

_End of Flashback_

"Hora! *throws her unsheathed zanpakuto*give it already to Byakkun as fast as you can or I'll think twice and the blames gonna be you."

"Uwoiii! *catches the zanpakuto by the blade then the guard* don't throw unsheathed swords that recklessly, bakayaro!"

"So…how did the training go?"

"It was awful with him."

"Teme! Don't think all-high-and-mighty with me! And you're just a newbie here who knows nothing about swordsmanship. Do you even know your zanpakuto's name? Do you even want to achieve Bankai, huh?"

"There's no need to tell to a runt like you. Huh?*suddenly stopping her footsteps as she got hit by a heavy reiatsu* nanda kore wa?"

"Oi, Chibi! Get a hold of your self."

A loud Hollow cry filled the air.

Rukia and Renji with Shiro on his back went outside. They saw Byakuya outside.

"What's happening, taichou?!"

"Nii-sama!"

Byakuya looks at the sky. Renji and Rukia did too.

Menos were tearing out of Hueco Mundo followed by small Hollows.

"M-Menos…Grande…"

"All ten of them!"

"*Shiro wakes up*oi, gaki! This ain't the time to sleep. Get up and hide."

"Urusai wa! It was a pretty sleep and I got disturbed*scrubs her eyes*. Who's the idiot's making the noise?"

"Aho ka? You were just simply sleeping while a Menos invades us?!"

"Dunno. *looks at the sky* besides,*got off from Renji's back* their just simply Hollows sent here probably by that Aizen."

*this where she gets serious*

"What are your orders, taicho?"

"Nothing. *faces Shiro*"

"Makasete! *snatches her zanpakuto from Renji and jumps off*"

"That's dangerous, Shiro. Don't get reckless!"

"*holds Rukia's shoulders* don't worry. It's taicho's mere da!

*turns to Byakuya*taicho! Leave the small fries to us!"

"Do as you like."

"Let's go, Rukia!"

"Un!"

"Get the hell outta here!*slices through three Menos* Bakudo No. 6', Soukatsui!"

Four Menos were defeated but five more Menos continued to appear.

"Tch! There's gonna be no end to this!*place darkens*huh?"

"Tsugi no Mai, Hakuren!"

"Hoeru, Zabimaru!"

"N-nanda…?!"

"Oi, gaki! Need some help?"

"Bastard?!"

"*vein twitch, puts pinky in his ear* what did ya say? Sorry, but I couldn't hear what you say!"

"I'm not thanking you guys."

"There's no need. Shiro! *points behind her*"

"Huh?*pummeled to the ground*"

"Shiro!!"

Shiro was knocked unconscious. Rukia tried to help but a Cero was fired that zoomed besides her, just an inch from her arm.

"SHIRO!!!"

"Ban…"

The Cero hit the ground.

"…KAI!"

The Cero returned to the Menos, defeating all ten of them, but another menos appeared, this time fifty of them.

Rukia and Renji were astonished. Byakuya just closed his eyes.

"What was that?"

Rukia looked at Shiro. She can't completely see because of the dust.

"Dammit! What are the other squads doing?!"

Renji was pissed.

"Trying to help, of course."

"Matsumoto-fukuticho!"

"Ikkaku-san! Yumichika-san!"

"We're here to lend a hand."

"Ehh…Shiro-chan sure did finished the first batch!"

"Got that right!"

"Anyway, I don't like horrible ones to be my opponent. But what the heck, all enemies are ugly."

"Oi, Shiro-chan! Wanna get going?"

"Damn right!"

Dust disappeared when Shiro jumped. The others followed as they attacked the Menos non-stop.

(This is her supposed to be Bankai form, only with the clothes and the circle on her head removed. Try to think that she wears shinigami clothes instead in this pic.)

"Nietono Akumatokage (Vairocana of the Demon Lizard)! *she said as she swings her sword horizontally*"

¾ of the Menos army disappeared.

"Let's combine our attacks to finish this once and for all!"

Shiro ordered.

"HAI!!"

Everyone agreed.

" BANKAI"

"Hihou Zabimaru!"

"Daiguren Hyourinmaru!"

"Mai, Sode no Shirayuki!"

"Growl, Haineko!"

"Split, Fujikujaku!"

"Nomino, Houzukimaru!"

"Hikotsu Taihou!"

"Ryuusenka!"

"Tsugi no Mai, Hakuren!"

All attacks pierced through the Menos. One more attack and they're finished.

"Go, Shiro!"

Rukia shouted.

"Un!*flies towards the Menos* Jurin no Soga!"

A dragon-like form surrounds Shiro and charges through with her wings and unbelievable speed.

"Looks like it's finished."

"Yeah."

It was already 5:59 p.m…

"Shiro, don't move! It will hurt even more!"

"But why does it have to be Renji to bandage me up?!"

"I'm holding you and it's only in the head, not your body."

"If I said no, no! My wounds are already healed from Byakkun and from the match earlier and it might worse if that mongrel comes any closer!"

"Who're ya callin' a mongrel, huh, gaki?!"

"I said stop calling me 'gaki'!"

"If I said gaki, it means you."

"Stop it, you two."

"What's with all the commotion?"

"Taicho!"

"Nii-sama!"

"Byakkun!"

Byakuya gave Shiro a cold glare. Shiro replied with a "Hmph!"

"What are you doing?"

(Renji then Rukia)

"We were just healing Shiro…"

"And nothing's wrong…"

"So you have nothing to worry about…"

"At all…"

"Taicho…"

"Nii-sama."

Byakuya held his zanpakuto.

"Chire-"

He was cut off by Rukia.

"What are you doing*holding Byakuya's arm down*nii-sama?!"

"It's obvious that he's nuts-*muff*"

Shiro muffled.

"Sorry, taicho! She's just daydreaming!"

Byakuya didn't respond. He let go of Senbonzakura.

"Bankai."

"Uwooohhh! T-taicho! What the HELL are you doing?!"

"Senbonzakura Kageyoshi."

Before the blade could turn into sakuras, Renji and Rukia, holding Shiro in her mouth, made a quick mad dash away from Byakuya.

"Taicho! Sorry but…what the heck do you want to happen?!"

Renji shouted back.

"Nii-sama! What's gotten into you?!"

Byakuya held his hand, pointing to their direction.

"Byakkun's probably mad with someone."

"And that is you!!!"

"Don't look back!"

"Run for your lives!"

"Weeee…!"

(Shiro was enjoying it)

"THIS IS YOUR ENTIRE FAULT, ISHIKAWA SHIRO SAITOOOOO!!!!"

Pranks on the Gotei 13

(This is like an omake or Shinigami Golden)

Renji:

Renji was all ready sleeping. Shiro snuck inside and got Renji's shinigami clothes. She dyed it with white all over. She removes Renji's hair band and cut his long hair.

The following day…

"Arrancar! How did you get here?*unsheathing her sword*"

"What are you pointing at, Rukia?!"

"How'd you know my name?!"

"Baka! Have you gone bonkers and you already forgot my name? It's me Renji!"

"Renji? Where's Renji? What'd you did to him?!"

"I AM Renji! Oh for goddamn crise…what do I even look like?"

Rukai was puzzled. She held a mirror to Renji.

"Huh?"

~~Silence~~

"WHERE ARE YOU, YOU BASTARD GAKI?!!!!"

Rukia:

Rukia went out to get some grocery for her Captain Ukitake. She held her grocery list and scanned the foods needed (actually, Ukitake was the one who wanted the foods listed in the list).

"The foods needed are meat, vegetables, mushrooms, beans, oil, fish, and…"

Looking at the bottom list.

"…Japanese spurge? Why would Taicho like Japanese spurge? It can be useful but not in food."

Sticking behind her is Shiro, trying not to get caught. She grinned and her teeth gleamed with another idea of her making in her mind.

"Operation Food List…let's go!"

Shiro followed Rukia until she got to the market. Before looking at it for the other ingredients, Shiro quickly slipped the fake one and switched with the real one.

"Japanese Spurge, check. The last three are…huh?"

Rukia blinked twenty times before believing it.

"What's with this? C-candies? Is this also included?"

After marketing…

"Ukitake-taichou!"

"Kuchiki-san, good timing. Have you bought all the ingredients?"

"Hai! *sits besides Ukitake*ano, Ukitake-taichou, could I ask you a question?"

"What is it?"

"What are you going to do with the candies?"

"Candies? What candies?"

"Huh? But it was on the list."

"Uki, good evening!"

"Yachiru-chan & Shiro-chan, right?"

"*nodded* Can we have the candies?"

"*shrugs his head*yeah. You can have them. I didn't even need them."

"Thanks, Uki!"

"Didn't needed? But taichou! Those were 20 sacks and I had trouble delivering them here!"

"Sorry, but I really didn't remember putting that in the list."

"Then…how?"

Byakuya

Yachiru was able to remodel some parts of Byakuya's mansion without getting noticed. Shiro seeks Yachiru's help.

"M'kay!"

"I'll lead the way then you pour it."

"No way! That's why I need your help…to pour '_this' _in his tea. I'm not good in sneaking in places."

"All right. You owe me one."

"Un!"

After sneaking inside, Yachiru took the bottle and poured it on Byakuya's tea.

Yachiru managed to get away before Byakuya entered his room. Byakuya drank halfway his yea when he realized something was wrong. But anyways, he continued to drink it.

The next day…

"*knocks three times loudly* Taichou!"

"*knocks too* Nii-sama!"

"Get away Rukia*kicks the door*!"

"Taicho!"

"Nii-sama…huh?"

"Huh?"

"?"

They saw Byakuya sleeping sideways without his blanket. They saw his face. It had red spots (like blushing) and was smiling. Rukia tried to wake Byakuya. (He is drunk)

"Oi, Rukia."

"What is it, Renji?"

"Mite (look)…"

Besides Byakuya was a cup of tea that had spilled.

"Is this…"

"It's probably…"

"It can't be…"

"Sake?"

"But who poured it?"

~~Thinking~~

"Shiro!"

**Three years priority**

"Really?"

"I said yes for the thirtieth time!"

"You here that Shiro?"

"Yeah!"

"You got your first mission already for such a young age."

"Don't think about me as only a 5-yrs-old kid. I'm already 8-yrs.-old!"

"Sorry, sorry…it's just that you're going to the Real World. So who do you want to come, Renji or Byakuya-nii-sama?"

"Neither*Hmph*!"

"I don't need that asshole's help. So is Byakkun. Who knows what will happen when Byakkun is with me. He might use Bankai and do that again. I still remember when he did that…"

_Flashback_

"_Shiro, don't move! It will hurt even more!"_

"_But why does it have to be Renji to bandage me up?!"_

"_I'm holding you and it's only in the head, not your body."_

"_If I said no, no! My wounds are already healed from Byakkun and it might worse if that mongrel comes any closer!"_

"_Who're ya callin' a mongrel, huh, gaki?!"_

"_I said stop calling me 'gaki'!"_

"_If I said gaki, it means you."_

"_Stop it, you two."_

"_What's with all the commotion?"_

"_Taicho!"  
_

"_Nii-sama!"_

"_Byakkun!"_

_Byakuya gave Shiro a cold glare. Shiro replied with a "Hmph!" _

"_What are you doing?"_

"_We were just healing Shiro…"_

"_And nothing's wrong…"_

"_So you have nothing to worry about…"_

"_At all…"_

"_Taicho…"_

"_Nii-sama."_

_Byakuya held his zanpakuto._

"_Shire-"_

_He was cut off by Rukia._

"_What are you doing*holding Byakuya's arm down*nii-sama?!"_

"_It's obvious that he's nuts-*muff*"_

_Shiro teased._

"_Sorry, taicho! She's just daydreaming!"_

_Byakuya didn't respond. He let go of Senbonzakura._

"_Bankai."_

"_Uwooohhh! T-taicho! What the HELL are you doing?!"  
_

"_Senbonzakura Kageyoshi."_

_Before the blade could turn into sakuras, Renji and Rukia, holding Shiro's in her mouth, made a quick mad dash away from Byakuya._

"_Taicho! Sorry but…what the heck do you want to happen?!"_

_Renji shouted back._

"_Nii-sama! What's gotten into you?!"_

_Byakuya held his hand, pointing to their direction._

"_Byakkun's probably mad with someone."_

"_And that is you!!!"_

"_Don't look back!"_

"_Run for your lives!"_

"_Weeee…!" _

_(Shiro was enjoying it)_

_Senbonzakura caught up with them and it cut Renji's hair, almost trip Rukia over it, and slice through Shiro._

_End of Flashback_

"…right now, I can't forgive him about that. So neither!"

"Whaaaaat? Sorry but I can't let you do it alone."

"Renji…"

"Besides, you owe me for the prank that you pulled on taicho and got me all blamed up…

(He was referring when Shiro blamed Renji for messing Byakuya's paper works)

"… and I can't let you continue to play pranks especially on Ichigo and the others, gaki!"

"Ichigo? Who is that?"

"A Substitute Shinigami that protect the Real World. He's very a busy boy and gets easily pissed when picked."

"Then…is he like you?*smirked*"

"Shut up! I'm 10 times stronger than him."

"The reason why you were defeated by me in that match was because…"

_Flashback__ 3 years back_

_After defeating the Menos army…_

_Rukia: "I didn't know that you had already achieved Bankai."_

"_It was nothing. I just practiced with Akumatokage after knowing him."_

_She is letting Renji hear what she said._

"_How many days before you achieved Bankai?"_

_Renji was obviously pissed at Shiro's being high-and-mighty trait._

"_2½ days."_

"_No way!"_

"_Why?"_

"_Well…nothing…anyway, how about a match to prove your Bankai with us using both of our Bankai?"_

"_You're on!"_

_There was a warring glare._

"_Sorry to disturb about your warring glare but…there's three things I want to ask."_

"_Nanda Rukia?"_

"_First, when will the match happen?"_

"_Right now!"_

_They chorused._

"_Where?"_

_~ ~ S ~ i~ l ~ e ~ n ~ c ~ e ~ ~_

"_See?"_

"_I don't know…how about y-"_

"_I know one!"_

"_Where?"_

_After _


End file.
